The Mennonite pioneers didn’t have time for make-believe stories.

But if they did:
- Hansel and Gretel would be named Abe and Mary.
- Little Red Riding Hood would have been on the path to church.
- Goldilocks would have been mattscholoping in the bears' beds.
- Jack would have climbed the beanstalk to feed his 12 siblings.
- Aladdin's genie would have come from a magical tub of bacon drippings.

Mennonite fairytales, like their authors, would have been really practical and God-fearing.

But that doesn't mean they can't be fun...